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Over the Top
Sly, Love,
and Arm Wrestling
by Jason
Gibner
Since the dawn of civilization,
we have told each other stories to answer the deepest questions of our lives:
Why are we here? What is love? What is our true role on this planet? We often
have looked to the great storytellers for these answers. Their stories
usually speak of heroes facing impossible odds, sinister villains, and in the
end, a sense of personal discovery. A mighty trinity of wise storytellers
named Menahem Golan, Yoram Globus and Sylvester Stallone came together many
years ago and created a fable for the ages known simply as Over the Top.
Golan and Globus not only get the pleasure of having some of the most
fantastic names of all time, but will be remembered forever as the men who
created the short-lived yet long-loved cocaine-fueled film studio Cannon. As
any lover of fine art can tell you, Cannon is home to ‘80s action megamen
like Chuck Bronson, Chuck Norris and Don “The Dragon” Wilson, and helped
launch the inspiring career of the one and only J.C. Van Damme. Cannon
flirted with the big names of the day by putting out several Schwarzenegger
flicks and getting cozy with the droopy-eyed hero Rocky/Rambo/Cobra himself,
Sylvester “Sly” Stallone. Over the Top deserves special attention
for the top-notch screenplay by the Academy Award-nominated writer Stallone
and direction by mastermind Menahem. Also, it’s the only film to feature the
thrill-a-minute, so-exciting-it’ll-make-you-do-a-backflip sport Championship
Arm Wrestling. Sure, you’ve seen some gosh-darn exciting arm wrestling
before, but have you ever seen it in a totally legit championship setting?
Probably not, and you’ve probably never wanted to. Understood.
Stallone plays a trucker driver named Lincoln Hawk. That last sentence is so
awesome I could stop right there, but I must continue. Lincoln Hawk’s heroic
journey begins as he separates from his world of big-rig driving to pick up
his rotten 12-year-old son, Michael, who is attending a military school. This
annoying Michael is played by a Henry Thomas look-alike goon named David
Mendenhall. Seems Michael’s mom is dying of something and her last wish is
for him to get to know his truck-drivin’, steak-eatin’, arm-wrestlin’ poppa.
Nice last wish, lady. Michael spends most of the movie telling his dad how
much he either loves him or hates him and displaying his knack of being able
to cry on cue. The boy tells Dad that he, his truck, and everything else
about him totally suck. Stallone usually responds with a slight tilt of the
head, a raised eyebrow, or most excitingly, no reply at all. All of this adds
up to outstanding screen chemistry and gripping cinema as we have two
characters who don’t want to talk to each other on a long-ass California road
trip. It’s just like Sideways, but instead of dry wit, sophisticated charm
and guys talking about wine it’s got Stallone, a dumb kid, big rigs and
Championship Freakin’ Arm Wrestling! Menahem was freakin’ robbed at the ’87
Oscars, man.
Faster than you can say “Giamotti,” Hawk and Michael are at a diner when a
man with a curly blond mullet approaches the duo and grunts, “You Hawk? I’m
the Smasher!” Hawk turns his baseball hat backwards, bulges his eyes out and
begins to arm wrestle this gentleman. In the Authurian cycle, the call to
adventure appears as a hermit carrying a message that the adventure is about
to begin. In Over the Top the call to adventure comes from The
Smasher. As Michael asks his Dad where he is going as he walks off to arm
wrestle Mr. Smasher, Lincoln Hawk replies, “I’m goin’ to work.” Hawk wins,
but his victory does nothing to impress that party-pooper Michael, who snaps
to his dad, “You know, there’s more to life than muscles!” In the real world,
Hawk would have suffered a ‘roid-rage freakout at that moment and popped off
Michael’s head like a month-old scab, but instead he tells him how he can
rest his head on his shoulder when they sleep. Aw, Lincoln Hawk, ya big
softie, you won my heart.
Next thing you know, morning has come and Hawk and son are working out
together in front of the truck as Kenny Loggins sings “Meet Me Halfway, Across
the Sky.” Over the next few scenes, Hawk teaches Michael not only how to
drive a truck and how to arm wrestle, but offers profound fatherly advice
like, “This world meets nobody halfway. If you want something, you gotta take
it” and “as long as you lose like a winner, it doesn’t matter.” Michael, just
like the audience, swallows these ancient wise words deeply into his soul.
Just as Siegfried reforges his father’s broken sword and uses it to slay a
dragon, Michael uses his father broken logic to complain and cry some more.
Seems that just when things were starting to go great, little Mikey’s mom
died of her unknown illness. In steps Michael’s scenery-chewing grandfather,
played by the constantly pissed-off Robert Loggia. Loggia spends most of his
screen time spitting out lines like “DAMN YOU,” screaming in telephones, and
calling Lincoln Hawk a “worthless bastard.” After Mom dies, Michael goes off
to live with Gramps while Hawk sits on the back of his truck, watching
sunsets and dreaming of all the arm wrestling that never was. All this goes
on while a touchingly slow piano version of the lame-a-lot Loggins song from
earlier plays. Excuse me while I pause to wipe away the waterfall of tears.
Lincoln Hawk finds his extraordinary destiny in the form of the International
Arm Wrestling Championships in Las Vegas just as Michael finds all the
hundreds of letters his dad wrote to him that his evil grandpa hid from him.
He loved him! Can you believe it? Michael steals a car and smuggles himself
onto a plane in order to be there for his dad. (Doing illegal things on an
airplane was much more common in 1987 than it is today.) Back in Vegas, Hawk
is a busy bee, arm wrestling guys who all have ultra poofy hair, extreme
facial hair, headbands, mullets, and names like Bull and Grizzly. Grizzly has
one of the weirdest moments in the film as he appears to drink a can of motor
oil before arm wrestling while Bull gets to deliver the juicy juicy line,
“Being number one is everything, there is no second place. Second sucks!”
Very true, Bull. Very true. After having the basic human joy of watching
Stallone scream in slow motion, much to the surprise of no one, the hero’s
journey ends with Lincoln Hawk becoming the world champion of arm wrestling
and winning his son’s love along with a brand new big rig. If that ain’t the
most all American thing ever then I don’t know what is! The end of Over the
Top is so fist-pumping, baby-kissin’, Budweiser-crackin’ great it had who
else but Sammy Hagar screamin’ over the end credits, “Winner takes it all,
loser takes the fall, time to take it OVER THE TOP!” God bless that
high-flying flag of ours.
Why Over the Top didn’t kick Hollywood in the rear and lead to tons
of other arm wrestling movies is way beyond me. Imagine how much sweeter Million
Dollar Baby would have been if Swank was arm wrestling all through it.
Just think, Cinderella Man could have been all about some dude and
the early days of arm wrestling... Lindsay Lohan arm wrestling a baboon...
The possibilities are endless. Wake up and smell the arm-wrestling coffee,
Hollywood!
Look what it did for Stallone. He had that great boxing reality TV show and
he was in Spy Kids 3-D. He’s doing great! As for Menahem Golan, he’s
flying a chopper somewhere in New Zealand delivering baby pandas to needy
children. Sorry, I made that up. I actually have no idea what Golan is up to
but I can guess it is close to totally nothing. So go for it, young
screenwriters, make that arm-wrestling movie of your dreams. Just remember,
the world meets nobody halfway. Keep those cards and letters flowin’ in! See
ya in the back of the theater
Original article http://www.annarborpaper.com/content/issuev3i1/wmn_v3i1.html © 2007 respective owners
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